Faith and Improv. (是和)

“Do you have everything you need?”

I looked up with tired eyes. Mom was standing in the doorway, searching for a way to help while I reorganized my suitcases. It was 2am, and I only had one more day before leaving to teach English and spread the Gospel in China.

I sighed. “I don’t know.” Looking at my suitcases, I knew I would never feel completely prepared. Shrugging back to my mom, I said, “I’ll find out soon enough.”

That was six months ago. Since then, I have been adjusting to life in a foreign city so remote and so far north that even Chinese people believe we get around by camel. I have mastered the art of communicating through gestures, successfully fumbled my way through the bus system, traveled internationally by myself, and have seen firsthand how great an impact one disciple sharing the Word can have on another’s faith. I’ve come a long way, both literally and figuratively.

And yet, I still feel unprepared.

Before coming to China, I worked in Chicago for 5 years. When the initial glamour of landing a job in the big city wore off, I decided to spice things up again by trying my hand in improv comedy. Between 2012 and 2014, I laughed, I cried, I mimed, and I found pieces of myself I never knew were there. It is an invigorating adventure, to go out on stage without a plan – without words, without any idea of what’s going to happen – and to know that, no matter what, no matter how badly you think you fail, you’ll be okay. This is because of that quintessential improv truth that – spoiler alert! – is also a truth we can enjoy as children of His light: we have everything we need.

In improv, it’s not about trying to make people laugh (although a few chuckles wouldn’t hurt). It’s about making honest and organic connections with people. No matter the audience suggestion, you are equipped with your own experiences, your words, and the undying support of your teammates to help inspire your scene. In that sense, you are prepared.

Against all earthly odds, we, too, are prepared on this great stage of life. We have the Word of God to guide our paths and direct our teachings; we have the constant love, grace, and forgiveness of the Lord, who “Yes, Ands” our every prayer and gives us faith; and, among many other things, we have the perfect example of our Savior, the value of which far outweighs any practical knowledge or ability we could ever develop. For it's not about what we need to do, but about what Jesus has already done for us.

Thinking back to that night of packing six months ago, I remember secretly thinking, “No, Mom, I don’t have all I need.” I don’t have a great memory to help me recite all the kings of the Old Testament. I don’t have any idea how I’ll get along with my roommate if she doesn’t speak a lick of English. I don’t know how I’ll ever start a family if I’m living in such a transient, fluctuating lifestyle. I didn’t have a clue, and it made me weak in the knees.

But the Lord said to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” HE is enough for me. Instead of gambling with my imperfect qualifications, I can depend on God’s grace and feel prepared for the mission ahead. I have everything I need, because I have Jesus.

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Mandarin Word of the Day: to be at ease

Chinese characters: 放心 (放 = to put, to lay; 心 = heart, intention, mind, center, core) 

Pinyin pronunciation: fàng xīn

Home (家)

(I wrote the following post last night -- err, at 4am China time.)

Although it still doesn't seem real to me, I am officially moved in -- and currently snuggled up in the bed of -- my new apartment in Yinchuan, China. My flights went smoothly, I slept sporadically, I'm pretty sure I had three dinners in one evening (whatever my body currently thinks a single evening is), but praise be, I got here safe and sound. My new boss came and picked me up at the Yinchuan airport, after which he treated me to (third) dinner at 2am. (Now accepting pr@yer requests for my internal clock / body.)

As I wait for the melatonin to kick in, I wanted to write about something I thought of the other day. On Saturday my dad and I went to see the new Star Trek movie. I don't really follow this new series, but something struck me with this one. At the beginning of the film there is a montage of scenes depicting life on the USS Enterprise. Over this montage you can hear Captain Kirk (voiced by Chris Pine, who just has such a nice head of hair, you know?) give a little spiel during a captain's log entry about how, essentially, he is three years into a five year mission, and he's starting to have some doubts.

The more time we spend out here, the harder it is to tell where one day ends and the next one begins. It can be a challenge to feel grounded when even gravity is artificial. But we do what we can to make it feel like home. ... As for me, things have started to feel a little episodic. The farther out we go, the more I find myself wondering what it is we're trying to accomplish. If the universe is truly endless, then are we not striving for something forever out of reach?

"If the universe is truly endless, then are we not striving for something forever out of reach?" How depressing, right? Kinda makes you feel bad for the guy.

The captain's entry made me think about my own mission in Yinchuan. There are a lot of people in China -- far too many for so few of us to reach all of them. Just like Captain Kirk's, our task seems endless. But the difference here is attitude. Captain Kirk is viewing his mission as a job, a quest of obligation. Our G0d-given mission here on earth, however, is one of love. It is not a task, it is not a chore, and it is certainly not hopeless. It is our privilege, our joy, and one of the most important instructions we will ever get, straight from the Big Guy himself: "Therefore go and make discip1es of all nations" (Matt 28).

There's an old magnet on my parents' refrigerator that reads: "G0d put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die..." Is this not an attitude completely opposite of Captain Kirk's? How uplifting is this outlook! What a blessing it is that the Big Guy Upstairs gives us a spirit of productivity and provides lifelong work for us to do -- work that pleases Him, and work that will bring others to Him. This is our joy! Cultivating His fields, as it were. Sure, we do not know how far out these fields go or how long it'll take to reach all of them, but we'll never know how tall any of His plants may grow if we do not tend to them one by one.

It is easy to lose hope and to seemingly float away from your cause when the future is unknown. It is easy to question what you're even trying to accomplish when it seems like your job will never be done. But that's the thing. If we delight in the L0rd, what we do to praise Him will never seem like work. He will never forget us; see, He has written us on the palm of His hand! Our work will never be done, and that is a blessing. And in serving and loving the Father all the days of our lives, we are working towards the ultimate paycheck: one day joining Him in the perfect and eternal home He has prepared for us!

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the L0rd, because you know that your labor in the L0rd is not in vain. (1 Cor 15:58)

G0d is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. (Hebrws 6:10)

That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living G0d, who is the Savi0r of all people, and especially of those who believe. (1 Tim 4:10)

**
Mandarin Word of the Day: mission
Chinese characters: 任务 (任 = to appoint, assignment; 务 = a matter, to be sure of)
Pinyin pronunciation: rènwu