I looked up with tired eyes. Mom was standing in the doorway, searching for a way to help while I reorganized my suitcases. It was 2am, and I only had one more day before leaving to teach English and spread the Gospel in China.
I sighed. “I don’t know.” Looking at my suitcases, I knew I would never feel completely prepared. Shrugging back to my mom, I said, “I’ll find out soon enough.”
That was six months ago. Since then, I have been adjusting to life in a foreign city so remote and so far north that even Chinese people believe we get around by camel. I have mastered the art of communicating through gestures, successfully fumbled my way through the bus system, traveled internationally by myself, and have seen firsthand how great an impact one disciple sharing the Word can have on another’s faith. I’ve come a long way, both literally and figuratively.
And yet, I still feel unprepared.
Before coming to China, I worked in Chicago for 5 years. When the initial glamour of landing a job in the big city wore off, I decided to spice things up again by trying my hand in improv comedy. Between 2012 and 2014, I laughed, I cried, I mimed, and I found pieces of myself I never knew were there. It is an invigorating adventure, to go out on stage without a plan – without words, without any idea of what’s going to happen – and to know that, no matter what, no matter how badly you think you fail, you’ll be okay. This is because of that quintessential improv truth that – spoiler alert! – is also a truth we can enjoy as children of His light: we have everything we need.
In improv, it’s not about trying to make people laugh (although a few chuckles wouldn’t hurt). It’s about making honest and organic connections with people. No matter the audience suggestion, you are equipped with your own experiences, your words, and the undying support of your teammates to help inspire your scene. In that sense, you are prepared.
Against all earthly odds, we, too, are prepared on this great stage of life. We have the Word of God to guide our paths and direct our teachings; we have the constant love, grace, and forgiveness of the Lord, who “Yes, Ands” our every prayer and gives us faith; and, among many other things, we have the perfect example of our Savior, the value of which far outweighs any practical knowledge or ability we could ever develop. For it's not about what we need to do, but about what Jesus has already done for us.
Thinking back to that night of packing six months ago, I remember secretly thinking, “No, Mom, I don’t have all I need.” I don’t have a great memory to help me recite all the kings of the Old Testament. I don’t have any idea how I’ll get along with my roommate if she doesn’t speak a lick of English. I don’t know how I’ll ever start a family if I’m living in such a transient, fluctuating lifestyle. I didn’t have a clue, and it made me weak in the knees.
But the Lord said to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” HE is enough for me. Instead of gambling with my imperfect qualifications, I can depend on God’s grace and feel prepared for the mission ahead. I have everything I need, because I have Jesus.
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Mandarin Word of the Day: to be at ease
Chinese characters: 放心 (放 = to put, to lay; 心 = heart, intention, mind, center, core)
Pinyin pronunciation: fàng xīn
